1. Hairdresser On Fire - Morrissey

2. Long Gone Day - Mad Season

3. Angry Chair - Alice In Chains

4. Ringfinger - Nine Inch Nails

5. Kanga-Roo - Big Star

I unfortunately can’t think of anything to say right now. Went to a friends party, saw some great people. The rest of the night was a *ehh*. People just need to know their limit when it comes to booze. But I had some great talks and conversations with many old friends that I’ve missed dearly :)

1. Temple Of Love - The Sisters Of Mercy

2. Sea Legs - The Shins

3. Antmusic - Adam And The Ants

4. April Skies - The Jesus And Mary Chain

5. Cut Your Hair - Pavement

1. Ruiner - Nine Inch Nails

2. Peace, Love, And Understanding - A Perfect Circle

3. Navigator - Funker Vogt

4. The Perfect Drug - Nine Inch Nails

5. Drunk In Paris - Type O Negative

can be such an onslaught on the emotions. Love is doing this to me. It has it out for me, when I’ve done nothing to it. Well, it seems like love will try and hurt you as much as possible if it’s unrequited.

Like I said, as a personal tradition I watch Love Actually during Christmas time every year. So with that being said let me say this…

[on sheets of poster board]
“With any luck, by next year - I’ll be going out with one of these girls.
[shows pictures of beautiful supermodels]
But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it’s Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this.
[picture of a mummy]
Merry Christmas.”

“Wasted heart”… I’ve got one of those.

1. Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell

2. The Noose - A Perfect Circle

3. The Conducter - The Faint

4. Christmas Is All Around - Billy Mack (From the movie, Love Actually)

5. Crocodile Rock - Elton John

1. Juke Joint Jezebel - KMFDM

2. Sunspots - Nine Inch Nails

3. Pushit (Live) - Tool

4. Another Space Song - Failure

5. If You Were Here - The Thompson Twins

So I went to sleep around 4:30 AM. I woke up at 1:00 PM. First song I put on after I woke up was NIN’s “Sunspots.” Such a great groove.

So I’m basically just trying to kill time until 5:00, which is when I have work. I work at a retail store called Big Lots, in the furniture department… it’s kind of cool considering how much I get away with, but all in all… it’s pretty fucking lame. I sit around waiting for customers, sometimes I fall asleep in the warehouse. Aaaaand sometimes, if I really need/want to, I’ll rub one out (Not kidding). But I do have some pretty cool co-workers though, they make things a little more tolerable. I have respect for anyone who works in retail and isn’t a smoker… during a four hour shift, I’ll take at least four smoke breaks, one for every hour. I don’t know what I’d do without my cigarette breaks, probably would’ve been fired a long time ago for punching a customer in the face.

Christmas time… every year I watch the movie Love Actually. I started doing this three years ago. Each time I’ve watched it, I’ve been alone. I’m hoping that it’ll be different this year. There is someone who said that she’d watch it with me this year but I have a pretty sure feeling that she’s gonna back out of that… she doesn’t understand what exactly this whole tradition of mine means to me. Now that I think about it, she never really makes an effort to understand me as a person at all. It’s not a hard thing to do, understanding someone. Try it, it can make someone happy.

Are ‘Friends’ Electric?

*cough cough* ……………….. Cigarette. Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.

After all my years on this planet, I still havn’t found one particular way to cope with stress, grief, depression, anxiety, and all that other crappy stuff. I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that the way you cope with something is all dependent on how you’re thinking in that situation (I’m not sure exactly what you’re supposed to think, haha), but the way you think is also dependent on how you’re feeling. And as we all know, you can’t really help the way you feel, and no one should ever apologize for the way they feel. So thoughts, emotions, actions, feelings, etc., they’re all dependent on one another. I’m not really sure if there’s a point I’m trying to make here, maybe I’m just typing away for no reason, haha.

Anyways, moving on…

Top 5 Songs I’ve Listened To Today

1. The Fragile - Nine Inch Nails

2. Last - Nine Inch Nails

3. The Becoming - Nine Inch Nails

4. The Wretched - Nine Inch Nails

5. Even Deeper - Nine Inch Nails

As you can see I’ve only been listening to Nine Inch Nails today. I just learned how to play “The Frail” on keyboard/piano so I’m in a NIN mood. But then again, I’m in a NIN mood everyday, haha.